One of the poses I long to be able to do is the kapotasana. Much as I have a bendy back, this one is a wee bit elusive to me. Then again, I suppose it’s just practice, right? However, the last time I attempted this during a workshop with Jivamukti teacher Sandhi Ferreira, she exclaimed as I fell yet again in my attempt to get there, “Girl, You Gotta Stop Bailing!”
I was like, huh?
She was like, you’re almost there but just as your head is about to touch the floor, you tighten up and panic, thus you miss out on it. She said all I had left to do was surrender to it. After all, we had worked on opening the body parts that needed to be opened up for that particular pose. I didn’t really give her statement much thought at first, mainly because I was dealing with other issues around the time that I took her backbending workshop and to be honest, that was the first time in months that I had reconnected with the backbend after having gone through a personal experience that closed up my heart, thus making backbends extremely painful for me. So the fact that I could find my heart flying and me falling back with that open heart, that was already overwhelming.
Anyway, it wasn’t till the other night that I really realized the extent of my propensity to keep bailing. When things get hard, I do bail and when I do, I don’t even bother to attempt anymore. With that realization, I have decided that it is time to start exploring again. And to just try. So yeah, I really got to stop bailing
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