I have come to believe is great power in silence. In depth. In stillness. In yin.

And perhaps, unconsciously, this is why my blog has gone silent for so long. Because I needed to reclaim that power to be found when I sit and converse with my soul, free from the distractions of the world. I needed the time to consolidate and maybe even fester in this space so as to allow to flesh out what I need and burn away what I don’t.

In my absence, I found my voice not in the words that once flowed so eloquently, either in this blog, or in my other blogs where I wrote about anything and everything, but in the depths that lie within me, in the quiet cocoon of my bedroom, and the distance from the outside world that social media presented.

In the past few weeks, however, the tides began to shift, and I found myself coming out of hibernation. I began to not just find my voice, but to trust it and not be afraid of its consequences.

At times, however, that need to emerge seemed to come with a vengeance and with so much impulsivity that I wanted to jump into the unknown, throwing everything to the wind (to be fair, I have learned, too, that there are amazing things that can happen in the freefall).But I willed myself to remain still and wait, allow the feeling to settle, much like how you stay by the edge of the water at the end of a summer storm and wait for the murkiness in the water that got stirred up to settle so you can see clearly to the bottom.

Then today, serendipitously, I ran into my sage, and we got to talking and in our conversation, she said, and I paraphrase, before you make a choice, ask yourself, is this soul-enriching or soul-deadening? Look beyond the seeming benefits, the “logical reason”, and the apparent outcome of what it is you want to do, because what good would all that do if your soul (and your passion) is gone? They will all be meaningless if your soul is crushed.

So today I saw the bottom of the sea where everything is clear. It may not make sense, but I know what to do.

And tonight, like that proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes, I allow myself to rise up, reclaim my voice, and find my rebirth out of the depths of yin.


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